Re: [Tails-project] Blog post: "Celebrating 10 years of Tail…

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Author: Jurre van Bergen
Date:  
To: tails-project
Subject: Re: [Tails-project] Blog post: "Celebrating 10 years of Tails!"

On 11/24/19 4:12 PM, u wrote:
> Hi!
>
> Cool. I did some proofreading and have some comments:
>
> - before us paved to way to → "paved the way"
> - heartwarming to received 36 → "receive"
> - you name Micah Lee as being a journalist. Isn't he rather a
> technologist? See https://theintercept.com/staff/micah-lee/


He actually works as a journalist for the Intercept next
to his job as a technologist.

> - under our mentoring in 2011 → "with our mentoring"
> - crowd-funding campaign in benefit of Tails tools → "to benefit Tails"
> - have repeatedly stated the importance of Tails in their work → "for
> their work"
> - we still had a lot of work to make Tails easy to use by most people →
> this sentence is a bit hard to read. What about "there was still a lot
> of work to be done to make Tails easy to use"
> - ensure it's long term → "ensure long term"
> - "full-time, most of them part-time or freelance." → I would change
> that sentence for reasons known to author by deleting "or freelance".
> Freelance has nothing to do with how much you work.
> - every body → everybody
> - Everybody mentioned on in this article in one way or another → don't
> repeat everybody twice, maybe use "Everyone" here
> - freedom fighters → I have a bit of an issue with this term.
> - The digital security trainers and technologist who got exciting about
> → "technologists" (plural) and "excited"
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