Hi,
intrigeri:
> Mathieu Goessens:
>> I did gave a quick look to the draft of the announcement:
>> https://wiki.debian.org/BSP/2017/05/fr/Paris/Announcement
>
>> - I believe the Goals and principles section would be better if it was
>> redacted in one or two paragraphs and not a bullet list (maybe the
>> bullet could be move to the main page and linked at the end of the
>> paragraph if needed).
>
> I've had a few comments out-of-band about this section, that I've just
> addressed. I'll explain the concerns and corresponding changes, and
> then we'll see if your suggestion still applies to the current text.
>
> One comment I've heard is that nested lists (bullet points inside the
> "safe space" bullet point) were too complicated, so I've simplified
> this section.
>
> [...]
>
> With these two changes applied, I think it's OK to keep "Goals and
> principles" above "What we will be doing", which I really like.
> Do they also address the problem your proposed solution is meant to
> solve? If not, please state what this problem is, and I'll be happy to
> rework the text accordingly :)
>
I won't have been able to say it explicitely but yay, its *way* better
without nested lists. I would however maybe suggest to:
* Invert the second (CoC) and the third bullets ("We want to bring
together a heterogeneous group of people"). As the third bullet clearly
define and introduce the intention. All other points, including CoC, are
based on this one and it does a nice introduction.
* Group bullets and have *text, and pagraphs* instead of bullet points.
I really beleive that text will be more welcoming than bullet points,
especially for audience that are not cartesian computer scientists. :)
* I think that it may be interesting to add a few words to describe a
bit more the intention and to have a more natural flow for reading.
I try to address those points but I prefered to not edit the wiki
without global aggreement (and a better english level :)). You can see
them in
https://pad.riseup.net/p/00e24qTnQksu. Maybe can we take a few
minutes to discuss about it in the meeting ? I don't want to be pushy
here, so let me know if you disagree. Those proposals are just ..
suggests :)
> If we want to make "Goals and principles" even shorter, we could:
>
> * Drop "Dinner will be self-organized once we are there". It doesn't
> provide substantially more actionable info than not saying anything
> about dinner at all.
I tend to agree that this part can be removed. (I did not in my draft)
> * Drop "In other words: if you're part of a group that is currently
> under-represented in computer communities, we would like you to be
> able to attend" (which is essentially a rephrasing of the previous
> two sentences.)
This one however, i think we can keep this part, to be as explicit as
possible about this point, especially if we choose to invert bullets 3
and 2 (see my draft).
--
Mathieu Goessens
