On 12/28/2014 07:03 PM, Alan wrote:
> Please find below a blog post proposal.
Thanks for this, Alan. I would be happy to see it published. A couple
native-english-speaker suggestions below:
> You are into GNOME development and want to participate to Tails?
This should be "Are you into...?"
> You
> improve your GTK and/or GNOME Shell theming skills and want to support
> users needing privacy and stealth?
This should be "Do you want to improve your GTK and/or GNOME Shell
theming skills while supporting users needing... ?"
> We got reports that users has been arrested while using a
I never saw these reports, but depending on how many people were
arrested, this sentence above should either be:
"...that a user was arrested while..."
or
"...that users have been arrested while..."
If you don't feel comfortable leaking information about the number of
arrests you know of, you should go with the plural anyway.
> GNOME shell. That includes GTK and GNOME Shell theming though CSS as
"though CSS" should be "through CSS"
> The team currently working on Tails on the long run is very busy and
I'm not sure what "on the long run" is meant to mean here -- i think it
could just be dropped. this paragraph works well without it.
> We thus decided to consider the possible lack of Windows
> Camouflage as NOT blocking the initial Tails/Jessie release.
there are too many conditionals and negations in here -- i know what you
mean, but someone who wasn't privy to the conversation might find it
confusing. How about:
We currently plan to go ahead with the initial Tails/Jessie release
even if the Windows Camouflage is missing.
> This is a public mailing list which you
> are welcome to subscribe: https://mailman.boum.org/listinfo/tails-dev/.
This is missing a preposition. Unfortunately, English is tricky about
prepositions in constructions like this. You can either be formal and
"correct" ("...list to which you..."), which sounds weird; or colloquial
and "wrong" ("...are welcome to subscribe to..."), which will annoy the
prescriptivists; but it might be best to just avoid the whole thing with
something like:
This is a public mailing list:
https://mailman.boum.org/listinfo/tails-dev/ Please subscribe!
Regards,
--dkg
