Hi,
kolohe wrote (06 Apr 2013 17:48:23 GMT) :
> I've (hopefully) made all of the recommended changes. This should read
> and look similar to the existing manual_usb_installation/linux.mdwn
> https://github.com/kolohe/amnesia/blob/manual_usb_installation/mac/wiki/src/doc/first_steps/manual_usb_installation/mac.mdwn
> Any reviews welcome!
Here we go, then :)
- the meta title should be "Manually installing onto a USB stick, for
Mac", for consistency with the Linux instructions
- I suggest moving the "rEFInd will replace [...]" warning right after
the "You need to have [rEFInd]" explanation
- about "corresponds to your USB stick, its brand, its size, etc.":
in the diskUtil command output on the screenshot, I don't see any
potentially identifying information apart of the size; the brand
"etc." is not displayed. So perhaps just write "Check that the dize
of the device corresponds to the size of your USB stick" instead?
- I suggest moving "On this screenshot the USB drive is 4.0 GB and the
location is /dev/disk1:" after the screenshot, and adding "Yours
could be different." like in the Linux instructions.
- The Markdown of the bullet list in step 4 is still buggy. I'm sorry
I should have made it clear that the single quotes I wrote against
every bullet point was here only to delimit what I was suggesting,
but should not have been pasted as is.
- "Now in your Terminal window change directories into your Desktop"
should probably be followed by ":".
- In "your Desktop", it looks like "Desktop" relates to a directory
name, as confirmed by the command below, so it should probably be
typeset in monospace like `Desktop`.
- About "Now run the isohybrid.pl to prepare", I think "the" should
be removed.
- "the tails image" -> the name is Tails
- "perl isohybrid.pl tails-i386-0.17.1.iso" -> I think it should use
the same "[tails.iso]" placeholder (+ associated explanation above)
as the Linux instructions. Or, if you disagree, then please argue
why this should be changed in the Linux instructions :)
- At step 4, it's unclear when one should stop waiting after "Press
enter and wait." -> I suggest "Press enter and wait until the
command prompt reappears."
- step 6 ("Reboot your Mac") seems awkward to me, as we just
redirected the user to the "start Tails" section on the download
page, so they're facing contradictory information at this point.
Perhaps the Mac-specific bits of step 6 should be integrated into
the download page's step 6 somehow?
Cheers,
--
intrigeri
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