Re: [Tails-dev] incremental upgrades: phase one almost done,…

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Autor: sajolida
Data:  
Dla: The Tails public development discussion list
Temat: Re: [Tails-dev] incremental upgrades: phase one almost done, release plan
On 03/08/12 19:33, intrigeri wrote:
> hi,
>
> sajolida wrote (27 Jul 2012 09:02:43 GMT) :
>> Yes! I would be happy to work on that.
>
> Great!
>
>> Sounds like a great plan. Regarding the documentation, and to have
>> a bit more loose schedule we could write a first documentation in
>> time for 0.13.x but then ask for translations only after a first
>> debugging of the whole thing, so between 0.13 and 0.14, and after
>> fixing the documentation a bit.
>
> Looks good.
>
>> We could also add something else to the process: coordinate better
>> and earlier the writing of the documentation and the UI, so we agree
>> on the vocabulary, try to apply the relevant parts of the
>> documentation style to the UI, etc.
>
> The code and UI is basically written already.
>
> So, reviewing the strings in the tails-iuk Git repository from the
> documentation writer's perspective is already possible. It will be
> easier once I eventually gettextize all that, though.
>
> Improvements and suggestions are welcome :)


I explore a bit the source code. It looks like a massive amount of work.
I'm impressed, as always ;)

I'll propose and comment a few changes here. I could do patches if we
agree on the phrasing.

# Frontend.pm

## Line 298

"Target files for %{name}s %{version}s are being downloaded, please wait."

→ "Downloading the update for %{name}s %{version}s, please wait."

Is it needed to talk to the user about "target files" and not just "an
update"? And the gerund is a simpler verbal construction than "are being
downloaded".

## Line 309

"Applying the update, please wait."

→ "The system is now being updated, please wait."

"Applying the update" means "updating", right?

## Line 310

"Note: the network will be shutdown for safety reasons."
"Note: for safety reasons, the network connection is disabled during the
update."

It's not the network that is been shutdown (hopefully!) but the network
connection. And future tenses should be avoided, see GDP:

http://developer.gnome.org/gdp-style-guide/stable/locale-5.html.en

## Line 319

"The system was successfully updated."
"It is now running in a special mode which is not safe for normal use."
"You should reboot <b>as soon as possible."
"Shutdown the system <i>now</i>?"

→ "The system was successfully updated."
"It is now running in a special mode which is not safe for normal use."
"You should restart your computer <b>as soon as possible</b>."
"Shutdown the computer <i>now</i>?"

About the second line, the information it brings is not clear to me. Is
it not safe as in "privacy" or as in "reliability"? What could happen? A
crash? I would try to replace this sentence with a more explicit threat
of what could happen.

For example: "You should restart your computer <b>as soon as
possible</b>. Otherwise it might crash unexpectedly."

About the third line I prefer to use "restart" instead of "reboot". And
I just discovered that the Microsoft Style agrees with me:

« Reboot: Do not use. Use restart instead, and make clear that restart
in this context refers to the computer and not to a program. »

## Line

"Shutting down network access"
"Shutting down network connection"

I prefer "network connection" but don't have any argument to defend it.

--
sajolida