----- Original Message -----
From: "clacla" <claclasetebe@???>
To: <nihil@???>
Sent: Tuesday, November 12, 2002 5:20 AM
Subject: [nihil] Policy aziendale
Volete farvi 2 risate?
Questa è una lettera realmente inviata da un Manager inglese IBM alla
filiale italiana, dopo una sua permanenza di qualche settimana presso
la sede stessa.
Dear Sirs
It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our
establishment in Rome that offensive language is commonly used by our
Italian speaking staff. Such behaviour, in addition to violating our
policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and
staff.
All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:
1. Words like "cazzo", "porca puttana" or "mi sono rotto il cazzo" and
other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or
dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.
2. You will not say "ha fatto una cazzata" when someone makes a
mistake, or "se lo stanno inculando" if you see someone being
reprimended, or "che stronzata" when a major mistake has been made.
All forms and derivations of the verb "cagare" are utterly
inappropriate and unacceptable in our environment.
3. No project manager, section head or administrator under any
circumstances will be referred as "figlio di puttana", "coglione",
"testa di cazzo".
4. Lack of determination will not be referred to as "mancanza di palle"
nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as "bradipo" or
"cagone".
5. Unusual or creative ideas offered by the management are not to be
referred as "cagate mentali" or "idee del cazzo".
6. Do not say "come rompe le palle" nor "ha rotto i coglioni" if a
person is persistent; do not add "gli fa ancora male il culo" if a
colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you
must not say "siamo nella merda" (refer to item # 2) nor "ci hanno
aperti" when a matter becomes excessively complicated.
7. When asking a someone to leave you alone, you must not "vattene
affanculo" nor should you ever substitute "May I help you?" with "che
cazzo vuoi?"
8. Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial
partners "vecchi stronzi".
9. Do not say "me ne sbatto" when a relevant project is presented to
you, nor should you ever answer "ciucciami il cazzo" when your
assistance is required.
10. You should never call partners as "frocio" or "mignotta"; the
sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms such as
"culattone" or "bagascia".
11. Last but not least, after reading a note please don't say "mi ci
pulisco il culo". Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.
Thank you.
Best Regards
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PER CANCELLARSI..
QUESTO E' L'INDIRIZZO GIUSTO
http://www.cybercore.com/nihillist.htm
E FUNZIONA!!
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